Working Kind of sucks.
Okay I know what you’re thinking. It has been one year and a month since I started this blog and I’ve hardly done anything with it. For that I apologize. Things got a little hectic for me and I lost myself. I lost myself in an RF gun and a job that paid me eleven dollars an hour. The problem with that was it also made me physically ill, gave me no time for myself and made me sleep all of the time.
Money does not equal happiness. I was able to afford things I wanted, when I wanted them and it didn’t put a dent in my bank account. I could afford concerts, the newest video games, LARP events, but I found myself isolated and unhappy. Sure I was making enough money to get what I need, pay my phone bill, pay for my medication, buy food but every day I spent in that warehouse I felt not only physically but mentally ill. I found myself lost because this is what everyone wanted from me. This was what made people proud of me. Yet I found myself crying on a regular basis. I found myself unhappy constantly and I could never figure out why.
I know now it’s because that wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. The money was nice but that didn’t make me happy. What makes me happy is writing and being creative. What makes me happy is putting my emotions into something i truly care about and expressing myself in various ways. This is what I want to be doing and it’s going to be hard, it’s going to take time but I know I can do this. I know i can do this with everything I have.
Don’t lose yourself over money. Do what you love.
June second, 2016 3:16 pm
Yes, I am perfectly aware I was gone way longer than I had originally said. I didn’t plan that, at all, and I hope you guys forgive me. Life decided to slap me across the face and I haven’t completely recovered still. In a nutshell I went to Oregon and almost ended up homeless from my own stupidity.
Not everything that happened while I was gone was a bad thing. I got a job at amazon, and while I’m still waiting for a schedule from them it’s my first job and I’m very excited. The national event I attended was a blast and I’m still very drained from that. Four days of running, walking, late nights and screaming. (Don’t be concerned, no one there actually died, it’s a live action roleplay, and combat isn’t that painful).
I went with my girlfriend, which I was very happy to share a tent with for four days and three nights. I was even happier to have her company for a little more than a week and a half. As cheesy as it sounds waking up and being with her everyday was honestly one of the best things and I can’t wait until I can see her everyday and wake up to that smile of hers. It makes me happy just thinking about it.
Now I am back home. My dad came into my room and hugged me, because when I left I left kind of rudely. I left without saying a word to any of my family members because I was so incredibly angry. Things are even better between me and my mom and more of my family members. Things are looking up for me. Things are going to be okay.
Thursday, May 12th 5:49 pm
It is so hot it’s kind of ridiculous. For a large majority of today I have been in bed due to stomach issues that I can only subdue, and will have to wait for my body stop being so sad to be on my A game again. Which brings me to something I didn’t want to do again but no daily prompt today, I feel seriously awful and I’m just not in the greatest condition to be sitting here writing.
Anyway, that’s all I have to say for today really, but I hope you all have a good rest of the day!
Wednesday, May 11th 2:26 pm
What do you mean I have ten followers? You’re kidding right? That’s insane! I didn’t think I would have more than two or three, and even thats pushing it! Oh gosh, I am so flattered, and thank you for reading my silly little short stories. Thank you so much because every notification that tells me someone else likes my story, or someone else commented on it, or someone else began following me, make me so happy and I’m amazed any of you decided to stick around for more of my dumb little ramblings.
I was thinking about putting my short stories into a book, and even adding some more that won’t make it to the site because I don’t want to post everything Online. Maybe some excerpts but not all of the chapters because well what’s the fun in buying a book you can read all Online? The thought of publishing gives me really good feelings that maybe I could be what I’ve been aspiring to be since I was little kid.
I’m going to be editing the stories I put on the blog to make them more polished and clear some ideas up that weren’t so clear in the first publishing. If you guys hadn’t noticed, most of work is very rough, and that is only because I do not proof read. At all. It’s a really bad habit and I know I should proof read before I hit publish but I’m going to do the literal exact same thing to this post and hit publish. Fight me.
No short story from the one word prompt of the day. One reason being I want to get started editing the short stories I have so far and another being I just can’t think of anything to write for it. Lame excuse I know, but its the truth.
Monday, May 9th 11:20 am
Today is the first day in two years I am running solely off of will power. No depression or anxiety medication, nothing to ease myself into the day, and it’s significantly harder than I ever though it would be. I am constantly looking over my shoulder, feeling cold chills down my spine, and feel really nervous for not much of a reason. My one word prompt is going up today, as promised, but I do ask all of you keep in mind that I’m not one hundred percent okay and my writing may reflect that.
There is Rose incense currently in the burner and that does help my mood go up quite a bit, as well as my trip out of state later this month. During May twenty sixth to may twenty ninth I will try my best to post my daily updates but things get a little chaotic when I go to these events so I can’t make any promises. Everyday before that hopefully things will continue to be posted on my usual daily schedule. Also, not from my phone, because I have less control over how I type and spell a lot of words completely incorrectly. Which is very annoying.
After I finish this up I should get started on the word prompt of the day. Sadly, no news on Bees, Bunnies and corsets, but I’ll keep all of you informed if anything comes up
Im posting this update from my phone and it’s something I don’t want to happen often. I can’t exactly step away from my infant nieces to go write the one word prompt as usual but that’s okay.
Last night was when I realized how much scent affects my mood. Rose incense wakes me up, lavender puts me to sleep, and Dragons blood seems to inspire creative work. I’m still empty when it comes to Dragons blood but that shouldn’t be to hard to fix.
These little rants of mine should be happening once a day, hopefully everyday, and it’s mainly for my own benefit. Maybe it’s nice to just have a nice little space where I can express myself freely, or maybe I just complain too much. Regardless they do provide me with some sort of stress relief. I don’t spend enough time making sure that I’m okay, and this little time I spend to talk about whatever is nice.
Sadly right now Bees, Bunnies and Corsets is everywhere and I have no idea where it’s going to start, end, or what’s even going to happen. Is that normal? Eh I don’t care.
The twins are waking up and my now two year old niece is wrecking Havoc.
Stay Lovely ♡
I ran out of dragon’s blood incense, so I pulled from the stack of miscellaneous incense and who knows what I’m burning.
Whatever it is sure helps calm me down so thats pretty nice. Maybe I’ll ground myself today, get that energy flowing, and do some yoga. My creative block has been easing up the past couple of days. Maybe it’s because I find myself (as well as my two followers) writing daily now. It’s a nice pick me up. Yesterday I started the first Chapter of Bees, Bunnies, and Corsets. I made that title up right now. It feels nice to be recharged.
This weekend is going to be a little tight so I may not post everyday as I have been so keen on doing. I will definitely be writing to keep my brain working but this blog will get a little neglected. Apologies in advancement! I have a class this Sunday, and this Saturday is my niece’s second birthday! Time really does fly doesn’t it. Just yesterday I could hold her with two hands. Now we can barely handle her with two arms! She’s a feisty one, that girl.
Bees, Bunnies and Corsets is something I hope to have published by the end of this year. Chapter one is currently in the making, and after the rough draft is finished I’m going to have it reviewed and looked over. To be completely honest I should have the stories I post on here peer reviewed before I just hit publish. This will be my first official book and I couldn’t be more excited! I’ve been writing stories for as long as I can remember. So finally getting my work out and published is a dream come true!
Maybe I can even land a job. Maybe.
With another oh so exciting update! (It’s not really don’t get your hopes up) Yesterday, I gained one whole follower! So thats pretty cool. I guess my writing skills haven’t completely left me. Hello!
In other news I managed to get a prompt for my first book. I had no idea where to start, which characters to introduce first, where to put them, and I was just completely lost. Even if I only have a couple of paragraphs written it’s so much more than what I originally had which was in fact completely nothing. Working titles are currently not a concern but a few ideas come to mind.
Sometime in the future I’ll post portions of a chapter, character concepts, or something to do with the story so I’m not leaving this blog completely pointless. Maybe I’ll post some old work, or maybe some short stories I worked on in my spare time. Right now a lot is not determined and subjected to change. I’m still really fickle with a lot of things and coming out of my shell is a lot harder than I imagined it to be. So please be patient with me.
Thank you, because if you’re reading this, you’re either bored or actually have an interest in whatever it is I’m doing here. And with either reason I do appreciate you taking the time to read my mess of ideas. Stay lovely!
Have you ever started something, took a minute to think about exactly what you were doing, and realized this is either going to be the best thing or worst thing you’ve ever done?
This is my current mood to this entire blog. Is there any plan, any motive, and drive to back me up and let me know this isn’t a complete waste of time? Absolutely not. Is there some magical, other worldly being telling me that I should be sitting here, writing stories and throwing them out for the world to judge and read? Nope again.
Currently I am an unemployed, broke, legal adult who needs something to do. So I thought hey I like to write stories, and my tales aren’t that bad, So why not start sharing? And here we are. Problem is I’ve had writers block for four days. Four to five stories in the making and I can’t get myself to continue any of them. This does not include the works I began in high school and decided not to touch since. Those have been neglected for longer than I’m ashamed to say aloud.
I was hoping that having my own domain would give me a slight push. Or incentive to begin creating and sharing again. Sadly, like most things I do, and how most thing I start off I have little to no clue what I’m doing. I can already tell it’s going to be a while before I figure out what I’m doing and not just constantly spitting words onto a page.